An All Day Affair Of Fun In The Sun
I woke up this morning just aching to have some fun. Not just lie out under the sun and watch the waves crash kind of fun, but something more energetic… Maybe take out a dune buggy, do some jet skiing, motorcycle riding or ideally, some kind of adventure.
So I hit the lobby of the hotel where I find a million brochures and a travel agent that doesn’t speak English. I start pointing at pictures but at the same time a Brazilian girl walks up and says in English, “Hey do you want to go with me and my two new friends, instead?” I immediately reply, “Of course I do.” The four of us jump in a dune buggy and set off on an adventure. I have no idea where we’re going or what we’re going to see and I have not a care in the world, just the opposite in fact. I’m elated to be hanging out with 3 new Brazilian friends instead of being on my own.
First stop is one of the many beaches around Porto de Galinhas. It’s beautiful. I’d rave about the majestic green-blue water but I’ll let the photos do the talking. Next up, another amazing beach and then something unexpected…
We hit this part of the beach where there were natural tide pools created when the tide was low. We all got on a little dinghy boat and headed out to see the pools. We walked across the coral to witness them filled with tropical fish! There were a few distinct varieties as well as crabs walking on and hiding in the coral. Ok, it’s not as cool as riding a dirt bike in the sand dunes, but this place really put a smile on my face.
We leave and head for another beach. This time I ask about jet skiing. The price is really expensive so I decline and instead, we all go on a “banana” ride, where a motorboat pulls an inflatable raft shaped somewhat like a banana. We all get on the ride and one additional rider joins us from the beach. So the boat zig zag’s us around until we all fall off, splashing in the water and laughing. All of us jump back on the banana except for the new addition to our group. I notice her trying to pull herself back up onto the banana but it’s not working. I jump down to help her get back up.
She’s only about 25 years old but unfortunately she’s already 350+ lbs and I can’t lift her back in. It takes two of us to push her back up. At the last moment my face somehow got really close to the backside of her bathing suit bottoms that had ridden all the way up, turning her back side into a huge clumpy cellulite g-string of terror. I jerked my face away and apparently I had a look of horror on my face because the girls in my group were starring at me, pointing and laughing at my expression.
We stopped for a late lunch at Porto Barracuda, a small restaurant that catered to un-savvy tourists. I wouldn’t have picked this restaurant because it was obviously a “clip joint” (our tour guide driving the buggy really wanted us to go there; which is a sure-fire indication that it’s overpriced and he gets a kickback from our bill) but I was along for the ride wherever we went. I didn’t mind a bit paying $40 Reals ($22 USD) for a great veal parmagiana lunch with two premium beers but the rest of my crew was visually pissed off at the bill.
Lunch did have some dark humor though. There was a singer (he was really more like a bad rapper) and his band went by each table to “serenade” and collect cash. He heads to our table and asks us all where we are from. From there on out I only picked up bits and pieces during the performance and thereafter via translations from my new friends. He started saying how he wanted to be paid to wed the Sao Paulo girl and I! Then she tells him we’re just friends and that he gets no money for his bad singing. From there on out things get ugly for the Sao Paulo girl. He starts bashing her in Portuguese insults and cuss words. I understand bits and pieces but what I do understand is devastating to this girl. This Brazilian has a seriously foul mouth for an “entertainer” at a restaurant. Some of the spectators are laughing and some are looking away in disgust. I ask if I should give him money and she says no way. He persists in bashing her for a few more minutes and she throws him some cash to leave. The lunch wasn’t all bad though, before we left the restaurant, we all got to laugh one more time about the expression on my face when I got the heinous view of the fat girls backside in my face.
The last stop was to go and see the live sea horses! Before this trip, I didn’t even know that sea horses are real. I always thought that they were an urban myth. Well I’m here to tell you they’re real!
See the sea horses and all the action packed photos in the Porto de Galinhas photo gallery. They’re some of my best photos yet!